Terri Kersch

Terri Kersch, MA, CWC, CHES
Certified Wellness Coach
Certified Health Education Specialist

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Terri’s Tilt — The Valentine Waiting to be Sent

I offer Terri’s Tilt for anyone dancing on the balancing wheel of life. This message is a gift to anyone for whom Valentine’s Day not so gently kicks you off balance!

As I scurry to send my Valentines cards…and scuffle through the racks and racks of Valentine’s Day Candy, my emotions range from warm and nurturing to cranky and so overwhelmed that I cannot breathe. I see cards…for every relationship. Not just the common ones – between partners, children and grandchildren, but from your cat, your dog, to your teacher, your mailman and everyone in between. And enough candy to satisfy everyone’s sweet tooth, keep a community of dentists in business, and allow even the non chocolate lovers to stuff away any and all sadness. As I look toward Saturday, Valentine’s Day, I share Terri’s Tilt about the Valentines cards so many of us would love to send…that special card to our mom, our husband or wife, or partner, our child, or simply someone we love…and have lost. This holiday, similar to Christmas, denies what is unpleasant in our lives, yet is undeniable – many, many of our hearts have ragged edges, are broken or even have missing pieces due to the loss of people we love. Whether you have lost someone to death, divorce, addiction or abandonment, This Valentine is for YOU!

While our society may not be comfortable discussing or sharing sadness, the coaching model offers a powerful suggestion: look inward toward the sources of your strength and past successes and use that wisdom to nurture yourself once again. For some that means smiling through memories; enjoying old photographs; for others it is lighting a memory candle, journal writing, or simply holding a loved one very gently and specially in their heart on February 14. I find the memory candle most comforting. I use it often and specially on Valentine’s Day. Embodied in that soft light are all the wonderful memories and thoughts of and for the ones I love. I believe that flame may even send its warmth and my thoughts of love to those with whom I cannot communicate. One of my clients uses her journal to write her valentine love message to the son who is lost to her. Another uses friendship to fill her need to communicate. She prepares a simple dinner in honor of someone she has lost…and shares it with a special and comforting friend.

My Valentine message to anyone living with loss is the invitation to find your own ritual - your own unique Valentine observance. You won’t find it in stores and don’t need tissue paper, glue and glitter. You will create it in your own quiet space, or perhaps in the not so quiet space of friendship. This personal celebration of our unique reality can free us to be able to walk amidst those Valentines and that candy while gently honoring own sadness or loss. And we might, in some way, even appreciate more richly, the chocolate and the joy of those lucky Valentines who have not yet experienced loss.

Go For It!

Create your Valentine, enjoy that chocolate, and may your mashed potatoes always be pink - or at least on February 14th!


Terri Kersch     (518) 368-2285     Contact me via email
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